Importance of community for a high functioning introvert

Dear friends,

At The Quiet Leadership Lab, we want to share our vulnerabilities and strengths because we are human and understanding these things are what makes us grow stronger.

As an introvert—or rather, a high-functioning introvert—I have to be honest, sometimes I find life difficult to navigate. Relationships, work, and everything important demands an energy investment. Energy, and specifically social energy, is something that introverts use up fast and hard. For me, it seems to take longer than others to recharge my social battery.

The High-Functioning Introvert

You know the saying, "fake it till you make it?" For the high-functioning introvert, this is true. Being sociable, having honed communication skills, and practicing interactions to manage your image and effectiveness in work and life are all learned skills. The smile that gets plastered at the end of the day, when an introvert has exhausted their social battery, is forced, stiff, and can be recognised a mile away.

End of a long day

My Journey

As an ambitious and purpose driven person, I've had to develop a few tactics to help me cope with the day to day. But to be honest, as much as an introvert hates to admit this, they need a community around them—the people who have their back—to function and to see their blind spots.

I started working as soon as I was legally able to. At 14 years and 9 months, I told my mum I was going to get a job after school. She was worried, but I was determined. So that afternoon, we walked down to our local IGA and spoke to the owners, a Vietnamese/Chinese family we'd chatted with here and there over the two years we'd lived in the area.

Not the same IGA, but similar enough

The shop owner's wife said yes without hesitation. She had seen me before, running errands for mum. I was always polite and respectful, and she liked me.

After school, still in my uniform, I'd man the service counters until 5:30 p.m., then help pack up and sweep the store. They paid me cash at the end of each shift, $6 an hour, cash and coins given to me in a small plastic zip lock bag. I worked there for two years. It wasn't glamorous, but it taught me rhythm, reliability, and what it feels like when someone gives you a chance.

When I finished high school, I walked into the local mobile phone store and handed over my resume. Once again, the owner took me in and under her wing. They treated me like family. Ten dollars an hour, cash. I learned how to sell without being pushy and how to make customers feel seen. I loved helping the elderly choose their plan and spent too much time on the calls to connect their services.

Phone store of my youth

During university, through my pastor's wife, I got a job at Anglicare's after school and vacation care programs. Sixteen dollars an hour and this time, proper taxes. The manager liked how I worked and offered me the coordinator role. I ran the children's program for years and learned how to plan, handle chaos, and keep children safe.

There were a few fun jobs in between before I settled down to my career move: ground crew, telemarketer, quality service coordinator. I joined APP Group's graduate program. That's when my world opened up to the technical side of things and to the reality of how careers actually move—not just through effort, but through people.

Looking back now, here's the pattern I can see: at every stage, someone had my back.

Not just "a manager"—a person.

That person, is just the right person for your stage of life, there at the right time to help you. They can be the one who gives you the opportunity, the one who points the way, the one who has your back.

Introverts need a community as well. We just do things our way and having a supportive network who understands us is essential for any high-functioning introvert to thrive.

Tell us in the comments:

• Who was a pivotal person who gave you a chance early in your career?

• What's the biggest lesson you learned from a boss or mentor?

We're continuing to build our resources to help you on your leadership journey. Follow along on our website and social channels for more content and tools.

With gratitude,

Rose Ung Founder, The Quiet Leadership Lab