The Cult of Busyness: Why We Trade Our Souls for a Badge of Honor
- Rose Ung
- Mar 7
- 3 min read
"How are you?" "Oh, you know—crazy busy."
How many times have you heard this? Better yet, how many times have you said it? In Australia, "busyness" has become our default greeting, our status symbol, and our ultimate humble brag. We wear it like a badge of honor to prove that we are wanted, needed, and essential.
But as quiet leaders, we have to ask the difficult question: Is busyness a sign of success, or is it actually a sign of failure?
In Episode 15 of the Quiet Leadership Lab, we’re diving into Kevin DeYoung’s book, Crazy Busy, to look at why we love the grind and how it’s slowly draining our sanity.
The Failure of Governance
In my work as a Project Director, if I see my team members or stakeholders constantly running around in a frantic state of exhaustion, I don't see "dedication." I see a Systemic Risk.
In project land, constant busyness is usually a red flag for poor governance, under-resourcing, or a lack of clear priorities. It’s the responsibility of the leadership to fix the "bottleneck" rather than just telling people to work harder. Yet, while we recognize this as a management failure at work, we often accept it as an inevitable reality at home. We let busyness move our lives instead of us controlling it.
Strategic Busy vs. Crazy Busy
DeYoung makes a vital distinction that every Essentialist needs to understand:
Strategic Busy: Working hard on a high-value task that aligns with your "Life Brief" or "Blueprint." This is purposeful, focused, and edifying.
Crazy Busy: A frantic attempt to do everything because we’re too proud—or too meek—to say no. This is the "chaos" that happens when we abandon our boundaries.
The Three Dangers of the Cult
For the quiet leader, "Crazy Busy" isn't just an inconvenience; it’s fatal to our superpower. DeYoung outlines three specific dangers:
The Death of Joy: When we operate in survival mode, we lose the ability to actually experience our lives. We tick the boxes, but we can’t enjoy our food, our kids, or the pride in the work we’ve delivered.
Strategic Amnesia: Crazy busyness destroys the "Internal Lab." When you are bouncing from one email to the next like a pinball, you lose the ability to think deeply. You forget your "Why" because you are so consumed by the "What."
The Rot: This is the most confronting danger. We often use busyness to numb ourselves and hide the "cracks"—the anxiety, the health problems, or the struggling relationships that we are too scared to face. We use "noise" to drown out the silence where our problems live.
Admitting Our Limits
As introverts, our energy is finite. We have to stop pretending we have an endless social and emotional battery. Admitting you have limits isn't a weakness; it’s Good Governance.
It’s about admitting that we aren't the center of the universe—that we can and should rely on our teams, our partners, and our support systems. It’s about putting aside our pride and realizing that "Done" is better than "Burnt Out."
The Quiet Challenge: The 12-Question Audit
This week, I want you to perform a diagnostic on your own schedule. Be honest with yourself in the "Internal Lab":
Do you spend more time at work than you need to every day?
Do you check your work emails at home as a "nervous tick"?
When was the last time you ate together as a family without a screen or a distraction?
If tomorrow’s schedule suddenly cleared, would you feel relieved or panicked by the silence?
If you find that you’ve joined the "Cult of Busyness," your challenge is to Confess. Admit your limitations. Draw one firm boundary this week—a meeting you won't attend, an email you won't check, or a "reset" you won't cancel.
Reclaim your sanity, because success doesn't have to be loud, and it definitely shouldn't be frantic.
Rose Ung is a project director and business consultant helping introverts master leadership, wealth, and family—quietly and on their own terms. Catch the full discussion on the Quiet Leadership Lab podcast.
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